An Indignant Future You
by Carlier36
Summary: In which the Doctor and River engage in what turns out to be a timey-wimey wibbly-wobbly... booty call


Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, nor am I associated with Stephen Moffat, Matt Smith or Alex Kingston.

**An Indignant Future You**

River stood at the window in her new flat, looking out over the surface of the moon, a hot cup of tea between her hands and the silk robe that had been the Doctor's latest lavish gift on her shoulders. _Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh… _The sound of the TARDIS had her turning around in delight but almost before she had registered what it meant, the Doctor was striding towards her determinedly, sonic screwdriver in hand. He pushed her up against the thankfully very solid window and settled a rather bruisingly heady kiss on her lips, sloshing tea all over his jacket in the process.

Finally, when she thought he might have forgotten they needed to breathe, he stepped away and motioned to the half-empty cup with his screwdriver. "Do something with that. It's only going to be in the way," he ordered, brow knit in concentration the way it was when he was either very distracted or very focused.

Dazedly, River set the cup on an as-of-yet unpacked box. "Good," he murmured definitively, pointing his screwdriver at her for his customary quick scan before taking her hand and weaving his way to the bedroom as though he'd done it a thousand times before. "I hope you're well-rested because I plan on satisfying you until you are unable to see straight," he murmured into her hair as he pushed her up against the spindly metal bedpost.

River whimpered, arms draping over his shoulders. "You can do anything you like to me," she promised, her voice thick and sultry as she hitched a leg up over his, dragging him closer.

Stripping off her pajama bottoms, he shoved his fingers rather abruptly into her pants and earned himself a shocked gasp (and was once-again grateful for her mass of curls as she banged her head against the bedpost.) With his open-mouthed kisses working along the edge of her low, casual top and his fingers moving slick and talented beneath her cotton underthings she thought for a moment that she might melt into the floor right there but that was before he tossed her onto the bed and stripped her bottom half bare.

Giving a soft shudder, she scrambled back against the pillows, glad the bed was about the only thing she had truly finished unpacking as he dropped his tea-stained jacket on the floor, free hand fussing with the screwdriver. "What are you doing?" she managed, fingers fisting in the satiny robe beneath her.

"Green… setting…" he answered slowly as he flicked a few buttons before raising his head distractedly. "I wonder if that's where the whole green M'n'M bit comes from, from sonic screwdrivers… No, no that doesn't make sense…" River rolled her eyes silently, usually quite tolerant of his tangents but finding it a bit grating this time, considering all the marvelous _other _things he could be preoccupied with.

He seemed to sense her annoyance, quickly returning to the task at hand and climbing onto the bed. Tugging at her ankle until she lay flat on top of the downy comforter, he kissed her firmly, tongue sweeping inside her mouth as her arms wound around his neck. Flipping a small switch while he had her good and distracted, he pressed the tip of the screwdriver between her legs and grinned at the jerk of surprise she answered with.

River met his eyes, her own wide and pleasantly stunned, even as she ran her tongue along his bottom lip. "Doctor…" she mumbled, tightening her thighs around him. "_Yes… _Oh, I take back anything I've ever said about that thing…"

He pulled away from her lips only to nuzzle against her throat. "That's right you do," he mumbled into her skin, kisses soft and lingering. Just as she thought he might be turning what she may well have called gooey, he did something clever with one of those long, graceful hands and where the sonic had been disturbingly good _on _her, _inside _her it was, well, positively orgasmic. River made what was probably a completely unintelligible noise, her eyes screwed shut as she fought to keep from _drowning _in the intense pleasure.

And, of course, just when she thought it couldn't possibly get better, he shocked her yet again by shimmying down her body to press his mouth to the crease of her thigh and then his tongue firmly where she couldn't possibly keep from coming, not if she had tried with one ounce of strength. When her cries died down and she came back to herself, she found the screwdriver discarded god-knows-where and him watching her with that insufferably handsome smirk that made her incapable of anything but flipping him onto his back and straddling him, her hips pressed firmly against his.

The Doctor swallowed a groan as she rolled her body, fingers tangled in her hair, her robe spread across his legs. Fingers sliding up her thighs, thumbs stroking over her sensitive nerves, he grinned up at her. "Oh, you don't think I'm done with you, now do you?" he teased, eyes sparkling madly.

River reached down to pull his tie open with a yank and flung it over her shoulder. "Oh, now, you'd better not be."

He lay back as she rather expertly divested him of his clothing, arms folded behind his head contently. As she tossed aside the last scrap of his annoyingly extensive wardrobe, she moved to sink onto him but he held her off. "Trust me, dear. You needn't always be in such a hurry." Wriggling out from beneath her legs, he about pulled the comforter out from under her so she landed face down on the mattress with an 'oomph'.

Her muffled groan dissolved into a pant that sounded suspiciously like _"Oh yes"_ when, kneading his hands over her enticingly defined muscles (and beneath her robe which was currently bunched up between them, making him feel all the more spontaneous), he pressed into her, a little at a time, as though he were taunting her.

Though he may not have meant to be in a hurry, it wasn't long before even his remarkable control slipped and his thrusts grew short and ungainly. Bending down to do something naughty to her earlobe, he groaned her name and pressed his hands over hers on the mattress as he came, dragging her over a few agonizing moments later.

River gasped, turning away from him slightly. "Oh god, where in the _hell _did _that_ come from? I've been trying to seduce you for months…" She shrugged off her robe and top, letting the silky fabric fall to floor. "Not that I'm _complaining_."

"I told you I'd be here before dinner," the Doctor reminded her, a drowsy grin in his voice as he pressed soft kisses down the length of her freshly exposed arm.

Moaning quietly, she gave a stretch that pressed every bit of her against every bit of him. "What are you on about? I haven't heard from you in a month."

"A mo- River, when are you?" he demanded suddenly, fingers forming a tight grip on her shoulder.

"What? Really? You want to compare diaries _now?_"

"River, _when are you?"_

River groaned, stretching out her sore muscles again. "I just moved in. Didn't you see all the boxes?" Realizing he was still staring at her a bit blankly, she rolled her eyes. "Berlin was eleven months ago."

"Oh this is extremely very not good." The Doctor sprang from her bed, frantically trying to find where exactly they had flung his clothes.

"Well I'm sorry, I thought it was rather fantastic," River snapped back, the look reflected in her too-intense eyes only describable as _indignant _as she sat up on her elbows.

"No, no, no, I thought you were a- I must have entered the coordinates wrong- I thought- I thought-" He danced around the room with one leg in his trousers.

"You thought _what, _Doctor?"

"I thought you were a much older you!" he exclaimed finally, yanking his bow tie off the ceiling fan.

River stared at him, shell-shocked, for several long moments before her lips twitched and it was all she could to hold in copious laughter. "You- You mean there's some indignant future version of me out there somewhere furious with you for being late for a booty call?"

He stopped, mostly dressed now, his hands stilling on his partially (badly) tied tie. "As much as it _pains _my dignity to admit it, _yes_. And believe me, in the future you always manage to come up with very impressive ways of getting even."

She giggled, tapping a finger against her lips before earning herself a blush when she sat up fully, the sheet falling away from her naked body. Reaching out to fix his tie for him, she made a promise. "Well then, how about _I _promise not to be mad if _you _promise to do all the lovely things you just did all over again?"

"I… Yes, I think I could manage that. Not that you ever keep your promises." He leaned in, tipping her chin up for a kiss before turning to step into the TARDIS.

"Oh, sweetie, you'll be wanting this!" she called after him. He scratched his head, trying vainly to hide the blush as he wordlessly plucked the sonic screwdriver out of her hand.

Crossing his fingers that she'd keep her promise or at least make her revenge pleasurable, he punched in the _correct _coordinates and poked his head out the door with one eye squeezed shut, braced for the worst.

"You're _late_." River lay stretched out on the bed on her side, head propped up on a fist.

Stepping out of the TARDIS into her bedroom, the Doctor winced. "Ohh, come on, River, you said you weren't going to be mad at me…"

Her eyes narrowed and she sat up slightly, the nearly sheer red nightgown swishing against her skin. "I did? When are you coming from?"

"Ah…" He blushed, fussing with the screwdriver for a moment before realizing that only gave him a further reason to blush and stuffing it back in his pocket. "The day you moved in here?"

River thought for what must have amounted to half a second before clapping her hands over her mouth to stifle a chortle. "Oh. _Oh_. You mean I finally get to be indignant future me?" Chuckling, she stood from the bed and gracefully wandered to his side, her hands smoothing his lapels. "Well, in that case, I do believe there was a _condition_ to me not being mad."

It took him a moment to realize he was no longer being glared at but he quickly recovered as she slid the sonic screwdriver back out of his pocket and dangled it in front of him. "You know, I _do _have a theory about the purple setting…"


End file.
